From one mom to another, let's add encouragement to this Mother's Day. When the comparisons, doubts, or all-around hard days come around--remember that you are enough.
You are enough.
As mothers we tell our children that simple phrase in a million different ways in all the seasons of their lives.
And yet, too often we don’t tell it to ourselves, even as it comes out of our mouths to others.
We think about all of our shortcomings, compare ourselves to other moms, think about how we wish we could have done things differently. Are we too involved or too aloof? Did we push too much or not enough? Are we even doing this right?
We hold ourselves to a standard that is inherently…impossible.
The truth is, all of us are doing our best. The stay-at-home mom wonders if she is showing enough independence to her children; the career mom wonders if she has enough presence in her children’s lives.
We are all in this together, regardless of the life choices that brought you to the land of motherhood.
You are enough.
We all hear those voices in the middle of the night, causing us to question our actions or even who we are as an individual. We missed that school event, we forgot to pick up something, we are too tired to even think about adding one more thing on our to-do list. “She is doing this so much better than I am.”
Motherhood is not about perfection, nor is it a race. Motherhood is a curving, winding passage through our deepest fears and highest hopes. Everyone is given a different route with plenty of detours and more than a few roadblocks. But the fuel on this journey is love.
Love yourself.
It is all too easy to lose yourself in the identity of your children or the everyday goings-on. What is something that you love to do, all on your own? It doesn’t matter if you are good at it or not. The important thing is to find joy. You may know what it is, or you may have to put some thought into it.
Find it and nurture it.
You were a woman before you were a mother. When you do things that have meaning or put your talent to work, the joy spills over. You provide inspiration and encouragement to others. You show that it is ok to find your niche, whatever it may be and wherever it may lie.
What they don’t tell you.
All of us had preconceptions of what this motherhood thing was all about. Until it happened, and we all got more than a few surprises. But there are also some things we hold onto. Things we never tell our children.
That first over-night summer camp, after we dropped you off, we cried the whole way home.
That last serving of dessert we said you could have, we really (really) wanted it.
The first girlfriend or boyfriend you had, we were happy and yet dreaded it, as we knew the pain of the first heartbreak that would come your way.
When you were sick, we stayed up all night just to make sure you were breathing.
We have fought battles you know nothing about but are stronger for them.
There is no love like a mother’s love, and we are grateful every day for having known it.
We will go to the ends of the earth to save you, to help you, to be there for you.
And that, my Mamas, Mommies, Moms, and Mothers is why...
You are enough.
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