Navigating the end of back to school days brings nostalgia, but being a successful parent requires the ability to let go.
I envy you, elementary school parents.
Not so long ago, I used to be you. But time always pushes ever forward, and here I am, with my youngest now a rising junior. Open house is done, and I realize that only one more ever remains before this portion of my life will come to a close.
Words continue to be replaced. Pencils with pens, crayons with highlighters, literacy with SAT, spirit days with college visits, basic subjects to AP classes, and in the most bittersweet sense a little kid to a young adult.
Every stage of a child’s life brings things parents treasure and challenges we are ever so glad to get past. One day we stand at a bus stop, watching a five-year-old board an enormous school bus and the next we see an almost-adult packing for their entrance into the world at large, whether that is college, trade school, or the workforce.
Being a successful parent requires the ability to let go. Have we prepared them enough? Done everything we could? These questions never go away, not truly. If we have done our job, they know that our love is unconditional, we are always available for a conversation or words of advice, and their worth is never based on a degree, title, salary, zip code, or partner.
A foundation of love, honesty, and trust will get them through most of whatever life can throw their way. Watching them navigate the inevitable twists and turns is sure to bring us concern or anxiety, but we cannot and should not protect them from every bump and bruise. Building a cocoon to wrap them in does not provide room for resilience.
Am I proud of my children? Absolutely. Even when they fall short? Especially then, because I know they will get back up.
But back to those elementary school parents. Why do I envy you? Partly it is a wish to wind back the clock and have more time to enjoy what is a whirlwind of activities and learning. Partly it is because I miss buying the character bookbags and always having scrawled pieces of art covering the refrigerator. But partly because it is hard to let go of those little ones who are now not so little.
This next phase of their life, and in turn ours as well, will be uncharted territory. How will it be having less people at the dinner table every night? To not have the routine of a new school year, year after year?
I look forward to seeing all they will accomplish and seeing the lives they will create.
But for now, as I shop for school supplies for the next to last time, I am a bit wistful. The list of school supplies more closely resembles a list of office supplies. Which is why when we passed a display of whimsical pens with pom poms or animals on top, I asked my daughter if she wanted to pick one out. I saw the twinkle in her eye return, the one that used to come with Scholastic book fairs or picking out the perfect pencil case.
Smiling, she picked one out. One with a large, pink stuffed paw print on top.
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